Lindsay Lohan- A Historical Timeline 

Hi Friends!

Today Lindsay Lohan turns 29! HBD Linds! I’ve always had a soft spot for LiLo. I tend to have soft spots for people my age under constant scrutiny by the media and paparazzi. I always put myself in their shoes. What if I was a teenager and every single bad decision I ever made was splashed all over the pages of magazines. I mean, that would suck. Think about it, every horrible guy you dated for like 5 minutes, doing interviews, embarrassing family dysfunction publicly shared, those times you maybe had a couple too many cocktails and fell out of your Louboutins (okay, Steve Maddens) and the next day tabloids destroying your reputation. Anyways, my point is that we have all done really, like really, stupid stuff. So has Linds. The dumbest, which I will never understand considering these people have enough money for a chauffeur, are her multiple DUIs.  In any event, here’s a historical, factual timeline of Lindsay’s life thus far. Enjoy!


 1998

liloOur first look at Lindsay as an adorable innocent preteen.


2000

disney-planning-life-size-sequel-with-tyra-banks

Sorry, I had to include this gem. I’m not sure how much Lifesize did for her career but it’s in my top three favorite Lindsay Lohan movies.


2004

meangirls_3286403bMean Girls holds a special place in our hearts. Ten years later I still either hear or make references to it on the daily. It made Lindsay a star.


 May 2007

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After Mean Girls Linds’ sex symbol status totally launched. She saw mild success with films like Herbie Fully Loaded and Just My Luck and She was no. 1 on Maxim’s Hot 100 list.


May 2007

Linds has a rough next few years. Above is her first of a few mug shots following an arrest for DUI and possession of cocaine. Side note: she looks gorg.


 Literally a Week Later 2007

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Not long after Maxim hit stands Lindsay’s first big scandal broke. Pictures of her looking all sorts of effed up and holding a knife surfaced. Coke, booze and Sean Lennon are never a good combination.  Side note: Does anyone remember who it was in the pictures with Linds? Vanessa Lachey (Minnillo). Weird.


July 2007LiLo is photographed at the Polaroid Beach House looking HOT and sporting an ankle bracelet. She dgaf.


  2008 Linds is struggling.  Georgia Rule flopped and Linds has a reputation of being difficult to work with. She’s been in and out of rehab by now. She poses naked to recreate a famous Marilyn Monroe shoot.


 2009  Sam and Lindsay have broken up. She later states the relationship was “toxic”. The courtroom is her second home, first being rehab. This is pretty much the case between 2009 and 2012.


 2011

Yikes. Theories and rumors swirl over Lindsay’s teeth after she showed up on the red carpet with horribly stained and decaying teeth. Her own father comments that it’s a result of meth or crack use.


 2012

lindsay-lohan-elizabeth-taylor-lifetime-liz-dick

So, Linds stars in Lifetime’s Liz & Dick. I mean. She really did look the part. But. Just no.


 2013  In hopes to completely revamp her career and clear her name, Linds signs a deal with Oprah.  Oprah can save anyone. She sits down for a “candid” interview that leaves everyone rolling their eyes.


 2015    Linds moved to London in 2014 and was relatively quiet in the tabloid world. In late May of 2015 she finally finished all her community service stemming from 2012 and her probation was terminated. Way to go Lindsay!


I grew up in a typical fashion in a typical town and went to a typical school. Linds grew up in Hollywood. Literally grew up. She also had a shit ton of money and lots of time on her hands. I, on the other hand had little to no money, forced to work basically for free after school a couple hours. Then off to soccer practice or dance class I went.  So, in a lot of ways Lindsay Lohan and I have absolutely nothing in common, except for our age. But on the other hand, take away all the Hollywood glam, money, clothes, drugs, etc and LiLo is/was just a girl growing up like the rest of us, with a dysfunctional family and suffering from poor life decisions. She may be a mess, but she’s our mess. And maybe from now on she should maybe just call an Uber. Love ya Linds!

Until Next Time!

xo Lauren

Full House of Style

Hi Friends!

Today Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen turn 29! Although we won’t be seeing them in John Stamos’ new and painful sounding revamp of Full House, (shocking!) the twins have made a huge impact on the fashion world in recent years. Like, move on Uncle Joey. Cut.It.Out. Anyways, for us twenty something year olds we pretty much grew up with MK and Ash. In the beginning their style was really no different from our own. Now, it’s like high fashion and a shit ton of money but whatever. Let’s look back and see how much they’ve evolved!


 
I do believe we were all put into high top white sneaks, lacy ruffle socks and puffy pants in the late 80s.

 
Remember that trend of being eleven but dressing like a thirty five year old high powered business woman? I definitely owned a pant suit from The Limited Too.

 
Best friend beaded choker necklaces and funky butterfly clips. Not even the Olsens could resist.

 
When people started to realize: wait, Michelle Tanner is like, really pretty.

 
Then people went nutty: wait, one of the Michelle Tanner’s is like really way too skinny.

 
Are the Olsen twins homeless?!

 
No bitch, it’s fashion.


From what I’ve observed, read and seen these girls work their asses off. They’re like, boss. They’re totally high powered business women now, minus the satin pant suits from Limited Too. It’s so crazy. I used to play with a Michelle doll that said “you got it dude.” Who else could completely recover from that kind of a career and kill it in the fashion world today? The Olsen twins, that’s who. #twinning

Until next time!

Xo Lauren

Happy Birthday Marilyn!

Hi Friends!

Someone (a guy) once said to me “every girl goes through a Marilyn stage”.  I was like, eighteen and in fact, going through a Marilyn stage.  I think it’s true, a lot of girls in some shape or form, superficially or deeply, connect with Marilyn Monroe.  These days, there’s a lot of her floating around sites like Tumblr and Instagram.  Her face or famous pose in the background of some inspirational quote that really, who knows if she even said or not.  Admire her or not, she was a complicated woman. She had a rough childhood, struggled with her own demons and was plagued by insecurities. Imagine that. She was considered the most beautiful, sought after woman of the time and she had low self-esteem.

In honor of what would have been Ms. Monroe’s 89th birthday, here are some interesting facts you may have not known about the ever so complicated legend.


Born Norma Jean, she lived in an orphanage and had 11 sets of foster parents due to her grandmother being institutionalized. 


She had an IQ of 168.


She was Playboy’s first Playmate of the Month in 1953. When she took the now famous photo in 1949, she was paid $50.


She was a fantastic cook. 


 She was devoted to yoga. 


She was only 16 when she married her first husband.


She can be credited to helping kick start Ella Fitzgeralds career. Marilyn promised a club owner she would sit in the front row for a week if he let Ella sing. In 1955, the club was a white only facility. He accepted. 


She converted to Judaism (!) after marrying Playwright Arthur Miller. 


The famous white dress worn by Marilyn in the subway grate scene of The Seven Year Itch was later purchased by fellow actress Debbie Reynolds. In 2011 she auctioned it off for 5.6 million dollars.


Tommy Hilfiger bought Marilyn’s jeans from River of No Return at an auction for $37,000. He gave them as a gift to Britney Spears.


Capote wanted her to star as party girl Holly Golightly in the 1961 adaptation of his novel “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” Of course, the role went to Audrey Hepburn instead.


Monroe was infamous for being chronically late to movie sets and struggling with her lines. These problems apparently stemmed from her crippling insecurity that no one would take her seriously as an actress. Billy Wilder, who directed her twice, insisted that all the trouble she caused was worth it.


Joe DiMaggio decorated Marilyn’s grave with fresh flowers every week since her passing for 20 years.  Marilyn allegedly requested the gesture, should she die first, while still married to DiMaggio. Although at the time of her death they were long since divorced, DiMaggio made good on his promise.


Apparently there was a lot more to Marilyn than just her hot bod and blonde hair. I think it’s safe to say that she was definitely misunderstood for most, if not all of her short life.  The question enters my mind: had Marilyn lived a long life, would she still be as famous as she is today? Does her icon status have more to do with her mystery and the “what if” question? Is it normal that these things cross my mind on the regular? Probably not. It sounds a little morbid now that I think of it. Anywho, I hope you learned something from today’s post! I certainly did!


Until next time!

XO Lauren

Here Comes The Bride

Hi Friends!

I have exciting news! Today is the official launch of IVJewelry’s new Bridal Collection! Stacked with loads of sweet pieces for monogramming and personalizing, treat yourself or gift your wedding party. Click on >>> Bridal Collection <<< to view all the new goodies!

So here’s the deal. I have entered my late 20’s. Deep breath.  I’m growing up. Which means my BFFs are too. We’ve entered a new phase in our friendship. The stage of getting married and making babies. Which for someone who loathes change, it’s extremely exciting. I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by girls, actually women, who at their core are the same wonderful, thoughtful, loyal people they’ve always been. Now their accessories are pack ‘n’ plays and diamond rings.

Anyways, enough of the mushy shit. In honor of IVJewelry’s new Bridal Collection I compiled a list of weddings I think must have been epic to attend.  Some are royal, some are common, some are scripted. All are epic. Enjoy!


The Royals 

Even though Pippa and her derrière totally stole Kate’s thunder, Kate can call herself a straight up princess. #winning.

I think we can all agree that Diana holds a special place in our hearts. I also think we can all agree that Charles  married way out of his league.

At fourteen I was barely out of my N*Sync stage. Marie Antoinette was married to Louis XVI.


The Commons

Clear stripper heels, booty dress, boom box playing Journey and a living room. That’s all Brit and Kfed needed to exchange vows in front of loved ones.

Ripped jeans, trucker hat, crop top, two witnesses and most likely alcohol and uppers. That’s all Brit and (what’s his name) needed in their quickie Vegas vows.


The Sorta Scripted Sorta Real

I mean, talk about a spectacle. This made for TV wedding had it all. I mostly only wish I was there to see Lana Del Rey sing for Kim the night before.


The Scripted

Keira gets it all in Love, Actually. Not only is Andrew Lincoln in love with her, he does the sweetest surprise at the wedding of her and his best friend. Not only is he a hopeless romantic, he kills zombies too.

I’ll say it, greatest music video of all time. First of all, Slash. Second of all, super model Stephanie Seymour in my future wedding gown. Never mind she tragically died at the end of November Rain, it’s fantastic while it lasts.

Are you kidding me with Wilson Phillips?! Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph perfectly portray how ever single girl sings that song. Also, if any of my friends ever made me wear that bridesmaid dress I would passive aggressively never forgive them.

When naive, Jewish Karen marries Italian mobster Henry in Goodfellas, it makes me happy. Maybe because I am also a naive Jewish girl that has a soft spot for Italians.


Sometimes weddings are traditional, sometimes they’re not. Sometimes weddings are fun, sometimes they’re not. All weddings are special, though. So here’s my advice: (for what it’s worth) have some good tunes, good people and keep the drinks flowing. Oh, and a lot of love :) That’s the perfect recipe for an epic wedding.

Until next time!

Xo Lauren

Series Finales & Why I See A Therapist

Hi Friends!

With the series finale of Mad Men and David Letterman leaving late night, I’ve decided it’s time to share just how crazy and ridiculous I am when it comes to change. I’m not one of those people that need closure, especially with tv shows. I’m not someone who needs to know how it all ends, you know why? Because I don’t want it to end. Even if I don’t watch the show after the second season, it’s still a comfort for me to know it exists on the airwaves and someone is still watching. I’m crazy. I know. In some cases, I watch a show religiously and when I know the end is nearing, I quit cold turkey. The thought of an official end to characters and stories I’ve grown to know and love is all too much for me. My palms are actually sweating right now typing this.

Anyways, here are a few examples of series finales that hit me particularly hard. Enjoy!


So, I lead with Friends for good reason. It’s really the only show on the list that I literally grew up with. Talk about a show that knew how to end a season with a cliff hanger! Maybe that’s the problem, I got used to knowing I would have the answers to Ross and Rachel drama in 3-4 months. I know, nut bag.



 People are still going nutty over the “fade to black” final scene of The Sopranos. There are all sorts of theories. What exactly did the abrupt black screen mean? Who walked into the restaurant? What was the significance of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'” playing on the juke box? Honestly? Who cares. The series is over and therefore so are the lives of these fictional characters. Truth.

I binged watched Breaking Bad on Netflix months after the series finale aired. I feel like this helped with my fear of closure, because I already knew it was coming. I also already knew pretty much everything that was going to happen thanks to spoiler alerts via Facebook and social media. That being said, it took me about three days to watch entire series and three months to muster the confidence to watch finale. 

I cried myself to sleep after this one. I’m not kidding. I remember thinking “What is Charlotte doing?!” Mind you, this was before I knew there would be two motion picture movies. That would have helped to know. Also, was anyone else disappointed the Big’s name was John? Booooring.

This was a serious test for me. I watched Kenny Powers from the start. I loved him. I loved April. Thankfully they ended up together. These two crazy kids. The show was kind of out there, especially Kenny. The final episode was no different (Lindsay Lohan was Kenny and April’s daughter) but I will forever miss Kenny F*ckin’ Powers and as an adult, felt I handled the finale quite well.

I mentally shut out this series long before the actual finale of The Office. For me, the finale was when Michael left. Which, to no ones surprise, I also couldn’t bear to watch. Friends told me the show was still funny even without him but I wouldn’t listen. I mourned the fictional loss of Michael Scott. Thank god for reruns, but not the ones without Michael. Duh.


So obviously some of these shows are still there for me late at night on TBS.  That definitely softens the blow.  In the cases of Friends and Sex and the City though, I always check the guide first to see what season and/or episode is airing. If it’s Carrie in Paris or Monica and Chandler moving to the suburbs, forget it. I’ll watch the local news instead. I can’t deal with it. I honestly don’t know what I will do with myself when current favorites like The Walking Dead, Girls or god forbid Law & Order: SVU say goodbye. Good thing I have my therapist on speed dial!


Until next time!

Xo Lauren

 

Ten Epic Moms

Hi Friends!

In the spirit of Mother’s Day I thought I’d take a look at some of the epic moms that have entertained me throughout the years. By entertained I mean, made me laugh, made me cry or scared the ever loving shit out of me.

The following is a list of the 10 best moms (according to me and in no particular order) from both the big and small screens. Enjoy!


1. Amy Poehler as Mrs. George

Mrs. George perfectly represents the mom living vicariously through her daughter. She doesn’t want you to drink, but if you’re gonna, she’d rather you do it under her roof.

2. Piper Laurie as Margaret White

Carrie’s mom has affected me since the day I saw the movie. Honestly, the whole telekinesis thing doesn’t even faze me. It’s the overly religious, psychotic mother. The term “dirty pillows” (referring to Carrie’s boobs) will forever haunt my dreams.

3. Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford

So, Joan Crawford was a horrible mother. The movie, based on her daughters autobiography, details her life growing up as Joan’s adopted daughter. It’s not pretty. Especially when coat hangers are involved.

4. Sally Field as M’Lynn Eatenton

oh, sweet, sweet M’Lynn. Steel Magnolias will forever be my #1 chick flick . My favorite part? The very end when M’Lynn has her breakdown.  And the quote “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” Word.

5. Anna Faris as Christy Plunkett  6. Allison Janney as Bonnie Plunkett

Bonnie and Christy Plunkett are mother-daughter recovering, sometimes struggling, alcoholics. It’s a heavy topic, but they make it work, really well on CBS’s Mom. Their relationship is hysterical and it’s a modern, relevant topic that a lot of people can relate to. At the end of the day they are both Moms trying to make it through life.

7. Kris Jenner as Herself 

So…Kris Jenner. She speaks for herself.

8. Sarah Wayne Callie’s as Lori Grimes

Any fan of The Walking Dead understands the above statement. I tend to think people were a little too tough on Lori. I mean who knows how we will all act during the zombie apocalypse? And it will come.

9. Julia Roberts as Erin Brokovich

Love this lady. Love how badass she is.  I love how even as a struggling, single mom of three little ones, she finds a way to help hundreds in a multimillion dollar lawsuit. True story.

10. Sally Field as Mrs. Gump

I guess Sally Field has really left her mark as a mother on me. Mrs. Gump kept it real with Forrest and did what she had to do, including (but not limited to) sleeping with the principal to keep Forrest in school. That’s love.


So basically, I’m really grateful that my mom never tried to relive her youth through me, attack me with coat hangers, or is Kris Jenner.  Someone should put that in a hallmark card. At the same time, she’s probably grateful she never had to sleep with a principal in order for me to stay in school. Although, let’s be honest, it probably would have helped my GPA. I kid I kid.


Until next time!

Xo Lauren