Today Lindsay Lohan turns 29! HBD Linds! I’ve always had a soft spot for LiLo. I tend to have soft spots for people my age under constant scrutiny by the media and paparazzi. I always put myself in their shoes. What if I was a teenager and every single bad decision I ever made was splashed all over the pages of magazines. I mean, that would suck. Think about it, every horrible guy you dated for like 5 minutes, doing interviews, embarrassing family dysfunction publicly shared, those times you maybe had a couple too many cocktails and fell out of your Louboutins (okay, Steve Maddens) and the next day tabloids destroying your reputation. Anyways, my point is that we have all done really, like really, stupid stuff. So has Linds. The dumbest, which I will never understand considering these people have enough money for a chauffeur, are her multiple DUIs. In any event, here’s a historical, factual timeline of Lindsay’s life thus far. Enjoy!
Our first look at Lindsay as an adorable innocent preteen.
Sorry, I had to include this gem. I’m not sure how much Lifesize did for her career but it’s in my top three favorite Lindsay Lohan movies.
After Mean Girls Linds’ sex symbol status totally launched. She saw mild success with films like Herbie Fully Loaded and Just My Luck and She was no. 1 on Maxim’s Hot 100 list.
Linds has a rough next few years. Above is her first of a few mug shots following an arrest for DUI and possession of cocaine. Side note: she looks gorg.
Literally a Week Later 2007
Not long after Maxim hit stands Lindsay’s first big scandal broke. Pictures of her looking all sorts of effed up and holding a knife surfaced. Coke, booze and Sean Lennon are never a good combination. Side note: Does anyone remember who it was in the pictures with Linds? Vanessa Lachey (Minnillo). Weird.
2008 Linds is struggling. Georgia Rule flopped and Linds has a reputation of being difficult to work with. She’s been in and out of rehab by now. She poses naked to recreate a famous Marilyn Monroe shoot.
So, Linds stars in Lifetime’s Liz & Dick. I mean. She really did look the part. But. Just no.
2015 Linds moved to London in 2014 and was relatively quiet in the tabloid world. In late May of 2015 she finally finished all her community service stemming from 2012 and her probation was terminated. Way to go Lindsay!
I grew up in a typical fashion in a typical town and went to a typical school. Linds grew up in Hollywood. Literally grew up. She also had a shit ton of money and lots of time on her hands. I, on the other hand had little to no money, forced to work basically for free after school a couple hours. Then off to soccer practice or dance class I went. So, in a lot of ways Lindsay Lohan and I have absolutely nothing in common, except for our age. But on the other hand, take away all the Hollywood glam, money, clothes, drugs, etc and LiLo is/was just a girl growing up like the rest of us, with a dysfunctional family and suffering from poor life decisions. She may be a mess, but she’s our mess. And maybe from now on she should maybe just call an Uber. Love ya Linds!
Until Next Time!