I’m just gonna say it. The MTV Video Music Awards are nothing without Britney Spears. Fortunately, I grew up watching Britney’s best performances on the VMAS stage. Her meticulous dance moves that she hit so hard, her rock hard abs and blonde hair whipping around her head. Waiting on baited breath for her to show up on the red carpet. Home girl brought it. Four of her five performances will forever be remembered in the VMAS Hall of Fame. The fifth performance, well, us Britney fans know better. Why Brit? because we like you. Better yet, we love you.
I was lucky enough to experience the height of the pop world era. TRL, boy bands, blockbuster music videos directed by Oscar nominated directors, and the best of the VMA years. Shit was serious. My girls and I made like, a whole weekend of it. I seriously feel so fortunate. If I were a thirteen year old now I’d hafta worship like, 1 Direction. Except Zayn Malik was the hottest so I’d be going through a serious inner crisis.
Anyways, point is, the VMA’s will never be how we upper-twenty-something girls remember it. Kids these days are stuck watching Miley bump and grind, Sia interpretive dance in a leotard and some melancholy John Mayer wannabe strum his guitar and sing live. Boooring.
Take me back to the days when all that mattered was that your prerecorded voice matched your lip movement. Take me back to Britney.
The year: 1999
The year: 2000
The hit: Oops! I Did It Again Britney comes out to Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones and strips down to this little number. Are you kidding me with this body? That perfect strategically placed crimped hair? I remember my heart skipping a beat when she ripped off her velcro pinstriped pants. Wait was she naked…? Unfortunately not. But a let down? Not in the least!
The year: 2001
The hit: I’m A Slave For You
I need to pay homage to this red carpet look. Fourteen years later and I can’t shake this little lace number. I enjoyed her Slave performance but I felt the hubub around the snake really took away from her dancing. I was also still coming to terms with the fact it was not the prior years performance.
The year: 2002
The hit: idk
Brit doesn’t perform this year. Her and Justin have called it quits. I’m devestated. She still comes to the show, though. This was back when the VMAs meant something. She also gives Michael Jackson some award. It’s actually just dawning on me now that she looks like a member of the Gestapo. I know you were going for the badass approach, but settle down Brit.
The year: 2003
The hit: Me Against The Music
Madonna. Eye roll. Even twelve years ago she was battling to stay relevant. This isn’t about you, Madge! Or Xtina…who’s the definition of a hot mess in this picture. This is about Britney. And maybe Missy Elliot.
The year: 2007
The hit: Gimme More
Okay I really don’t like to talk about this one. It was just too soon. She hadn’t fully recovered. I get it. I was partly to blame. We all just missed you so much and needed to see that you were okay, that you could bounce back. Maybe if you simply opted for a tankini and side part it would have been different.
The year: 2008
The hit: Piece of Me
Just a year later Britney opens the show looking like this. Talk about a big eff you. It’s the 25th anniversary of the VMA’s and everybody was humming with rumors she would redeem herself and perform. No such luck. Even without a performance, this year marked her real return to greatness.
The year: 2011
The hit: ‘Til The World Ends
Brit is awarded the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award. Bow down bitches. Lady Gaga tried to kiss Brit, but Brit was all “been there, done that”. A bunch of little kids paid tribute to her by emulating her most famous dance moves, which was really sweet. But let’s be honest, nothing like the real thing.
I suppose I should feel fortunate for being apart of Britney’s greatness and the whole entire pop music movement. I know one day as my pre-teen daughter listens to some futuristic-robot-techno crap, I’ll sit her down and tell her about the greatest performer of all time, Ms. Britney Spears.
Until Next Time!