Venus Is In F**cking Retrograde

Hi Friends!

Ya know how there have been some major celeb breakups this summer? Not like Taylor Swift serial breakups, we’re talkin’ long term, in-it-for-the-long-haul breakups. Well, there could be a reason. Venus is in fucking retrograde.

Remember all the buzz about Mercury? Well, when Mercury is in retrograde it basically causes, like, chaos in every aspect of your daily life. When Venus, the planet of love and values, is in retrograde it totally wreaks havoc on relationships, love life and what you value.

>>This site explains it all. <<

In case you forgot, or have been living under a rock the past few months, here are some of the shocking (okay maybe not SHOCKING) breakups this Retrograde has seen and/or caused. In case you’ve been searching your soul for an explanation.


 Jen & Ben

  Married Since: 2005.

Unconfirmed Reason For Split: Slutty nanny. (How original Ben)


Gwen & Gavin
Married Since: 2002.

Unconfirmed Reason For Split: Gavin’s infidelity (with both men and women)


Miranda & Blake

  Married Since: 2011

Unconfirmed Reason For Split: Infidelity on both sides.


Megan & Brian
  Married Since: 2010

Unconfirmed Reason For Split: Timing. She’s still hot and he’s not.


Kourtney & Scott

 Together Since: 2006 (on and off, three kids)

Unconfirmed Reason For Split: Scott’s demons.


So like, what does this mean for couples like Jen & Justin who finally tied the knot while Venus is in retrograde? The website CLEARLY states not to do such a thing. I have a bad feeling.  The retrograde ends the first week of September, meaning we have about two weeks until our love lives, and celeb love lives go back to being totally normal again. Ha. Ya right. Until then, let’s just hope that all the “true love” couples like Kim and Kanye, Chrissy and John and Brad and Angie make it through this chaotic and troubling time.

Until Next Time!

xo Lauren

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