My name is Lauren and I’m a Kim Kardashian West-aholic. Alright alright I admit it. I’ve heard the first step in the recovery process is to admit your addiction. That is, if the addict is admitting they are in need of recovery. Don’t even try and call Jeff Van Vonderen because I’m nowhere near rock bottom. I’m not even convinced there is a rock bottom to my addiction. Especially not today, on Mrs. West’s 35th birthday.
I’m not like trying to be cool here. In fact, I think it’s probably pretty uncool to openly admit to being a Kimaholic. It’s like, totally shallow and basic to enjoy such superficial and materialistic things like the Kardashians makeup, hair and life in general. After all, there are people dying Kim, let’s not cry over lost diamonds at the bottom of the Carribean Ocean. True, there are horrific things happening in the world everyday but also, those earrings were like really expensive and I would be inconsolable. Way to go Hump. Perhaps I KUWTK’s to escape the real world shit and indulge in Kim’s reality. Sue me.
The following is a list of genuine, I-Don’t-Care-What-Anyone-Says, reasons why I love Kimmy. Because, like, I’m totally a Kim. Enjoy!
Because even KiKi can’t escape the need for a good ugly cry.
Because I don’t have to deal with how terrible psoriasis sounds, but Kim does.
“I Used To Be So Thin”
Taste In Music
Because she’s a Benson.
Because when the lighting is amazing, jail time is irrelevant.
Her Previous Life
Because Paris Hilton please don’t talk ever.
Experience With Loss
I’m not expecting a Pulitzer for this gem of a post or anything. I’m not moving mountains with my radical reasons for obsessing over a reality star. But I will continue to defend Kim. Look, say or think whatever you want about the girl but one thing is undeniable…Kimmy is in it for the long haul. She’s taken a raunchy sex tape made a million years ago (who cares) and built an empire. And as women, we can’t just hate someone for making a sex tape with an ex. That’s like the rules of Feminism. So in conclusion, Happy Birthday Mrs. West! Please continue to provide me with perfect selfies and pictures of Nori. But please, no more blonde hair. Love ya!
Until Next Time!