Well, we made it. 2016 is right around the corner. Anyone else feel like they were constantly rolling their eyes at certain headlines the media kept jamming down our throats? 2015 had lots of heavy, tragic, hard hitting news stories and yet Matt Lauer started every Today Show broadcast with Tom Brady’s deflated balls status for like, 6 months straight. We get it Matt, you’re a Giants fan.
I’ve thought long and hard about the various pop culture headlines I’m all too happy to leave in 2015. Mostly because I’d hate to have to put my foot in my mouth. But honestly, for the next 12 months, I don’t see myself ever caring again who was actually crowned Miss Universe.
I never want to hear or speak the word ever again. Not because I’m a Boston girl, and not because Tom Brady is a saint sent from heaven above, but because there are more important things in the world than every single news outlet reporting on air pressure in a football.
The Great Dress Debate
I read about it one afternoon, had a chuckle, found it interesting, then moved on. Once the middle aged, chronic Facebookers got ahold of how unbelievable it was that Aunt Janet saw gold and Cousin Alan saw blue, it blew the eff up. How about no matter what color the dress is, it’s hideous and sooo 2015.
To be clear, I’m not leaving Kylie behind in 2015. Girl has style and bomb makeup skills. I’m leaving the “are they or aren’t they?” behind. Lips are the new fake boobs. Nobody cares.
Taylor Swift’s Squad
Okay, there’s nothing that makes me feel happier than women supporting women. But like, I get it. Swiftie is like really nice, and a really great friend and OMG Karlie Kloss and Gigi Hadad are just like us! But guess what, my girlfriends and your girlfriends are just as cool as Taylor’s. Towards the end of 2015 this whole #squadgoal got a little too High School-esque for me. No bad blood though.
I’m sad to leave behind the burrito bowl, but it’s a must. The chain may have been given a clean bill of health, but the damage is done. I’ll miss you guac, I’ll miss you perfectly baked chips. But if you just washed your hands and stored your food in proper temps, I wouldn’t be leaving you behind.
Enough with this. At first I tried to ignore. Okay I get it, The Voice needs ratings. That was weird enough. What’s even weirder is that the show is over and they are still dating. Why can’t I handle this? I haven’t cared about Gwen since Hollaback Girl and I haven’t cared about Blake since…ever. But the two together keeps me up at night. I need sleep in 2016, so long you two.
The only reason that more than 20 people knew that a 2015 Miss Universe had been crowned was because Steve Harvey screwed up. In what was the most awkward live television moment of 2015, the crown was removed off one woman and placed on another woman’s head. The media had a field day, for like 5 whole days. Literally.
Unfortunately, this is but a dream. Or a nightmare? Fact is, I will have to wait until November to peace out on Trump. No matter which way the cookie crumbles, whether or not I am forced to sell my belongings and buy a tiki hut on the beaches of Ibiza, I will be peacing out on Donald Trump.
And in the end, the reality is that 2016 will bring a whole new batch of annoying headlines. Tom will be replaced by Peyton and his HGH scandal, E.Coli at Chipotle by Salmonella at Qdonba, and Trump by Hillary. God willing. Happy New Year, everyone!