As a kid, most believe everything their mother tells them. Why would she lie?! Because mommin’ ain’t easy, that’s why. BUT, lucky for us millennials, we grew up with this thing called Google which has the answers to everything (sorry mom) and it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t take the time to point out these totally bogus lies you told me growing up.It turns out, (after googling) I found that most of these so called “old wives tales” are false and most likely still taught today because they’re passed down from generation to generation. Wait, so you’re telling me my mom lied to me as a kid just to get me to do what she wanted? Yes my friend, that’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s like mom code or something.
Below are 8 lies I grew up believing and I’m fairly certain you did too, but I’d love to actually know! So, at the end of this post take the poll so we can all laugh together and actually be friends.
“Only Strippers Shave Above The Knee”
Well Mom, I hate to break it to you but I shave above the knee now. How do you think I afford my brand new Mercedes?
“If You Keep Making That Face, It Will Stay That Way”
Turns out mom, that unless I have an extremely rare neurological disorder that causes temporary paralysis in the face, this is totally bogus.
“Driving With The Interior Light On Is Illegal”
I’m not sure why I believed this one for so long and I’m not 100% positive it was my mom who told me (could have been dad) but although dangerous, it is not illegal.
“Coffee Stunts Your Growth”
It’s probably not a great idea to let your kid drink coffee, I’ll give you that, mom. But your reasoning is totes false.
“Nothing Good Happens After Midnight”
This lie is personal. My mom used this as her reasoning for my curfew. And guess what, mom? Everything good happened after midnight.
“Standing Too Close To The Microwave Will Kill Brain Cells”
Mom, I killed plenty of brain cells without the help of a microwave.
“You’ll Catch A Cold Going Outside With Wet Hair”
Not sure what your motive was mom, but like, colds are caused by viruses not by waking up too late to blow dry my hair.
“If You Crack Your Knuckles You’ll Get Arthritis”
False, mom. It’s just super annoying.
Let me be clear – I was a total shithead to my mother sometimes – especially during those angst-y teenage years. So like, I do get why she needed these lies and to be honest, when the time comes for me to pass these lies down to my kids, I 100% will. I’ll just make sure they don’t have access to Google or the internet to verify them. Because I’m a millennial and I’m wicked smart.
I wanna know! Take the Poll!
Until Next Time!